Passione Goes To Pizza Hut
by charadesofchagrin
Summary: While taking the gang on vacation in Florida, Bruno decides to take them out to dinner one night. They decide to go experience the greatness that is Pizza Hut. It does not disappoint.


Passione Goes to Pizza Hut

The breeze was gentle that spring evening. Everyone was exhausted from such a long day out. The vacation had been so fantastic; the air was muggy yet gave a sense of comfort to everyone, because it reminded them of home. With the combination of the salty breeze and the golden wind, the setting was quite serene.

Giorno Giovanna and the rest of Passione were having fun on the beach. The dashing blonde scoundrel lay on his beach towel with the likeness of a professional model. He was nose deep in some book about ancient Rome he had brought from home. For some reason, he had been interested in history. It might have subconsciously stemmed from their experience in Rome, not that it matters anymore. Anyways, he was trying to read his book when sand suddenly hit his face.

"C'mon Giorno! Stop lousing around and get up! Narancia and I wanna play some volleyball with you and Fugo!" Mista stomped impatiently with a scowl. Giorno closed his book with one hand, lowered his sunglasses with the other, looked Mista dead in the eyes, and said to him with a look of stern disapproval "Ugh, fine Mista, I'll play. Not that I have anything better to do." "Yeah, you really don't" Mista retorted, slightly annoyed. "You just always seem to be sticking around in the background when we all are doing other things, so I thought that we should include you in the action for once." Giorno had no idea what the man meant by that, but nevertheless he got offended.

"Can you two please stop makin out and start the game already! I've been dyin' to get some volley ball in all day!" screamed Narancia from a few feet away. "Alright, alright." Moaned Giorno, and with that, he stood up, and chased Mista to their side of the court. Them and Fugo, all clad in their bathing suits, readied their positions. Fugo got into position with the ball and began to serve. Giorno easily hit it back, and so this struggle repeated for minutes.

Both sides were tied; they decided that the next point won the game. The pressure was enormous. However, Narancia had a genius idea. Like the first time, Fugo served the ball across the net. Giorno again intercepted it with a set, Mista punched the ball across the court, right before the ball was about to fly out of bounds, Narancia decided to jump in the air after it. Quickly, flew behind the ball and bumped it back surfing on his stand Aerosmith. Before either Mista or Giorno could comprehend the sheer level of coolness that had just occurred, the ball struck the sand, and Fugo and Narancia had won the game.

Mista barged up to Narancia, standing a full head above him."What the hell was that!?" he lividly cried. "No one said we could use our stands!" "Yeah." Narancia replied with a gleam in his eyes: "But no one said we couldn't either." He gave a shit-eating grin to the 18 year old, obviously not caring. Mista grumbled to himself in defeat, unable to prove Narancia wrong. "Well that was a nice game, all of you. Good job." The gang leader Bruno finally came up from his beach chair. The action of the game was enough to distract him from his novel, a normally impossible feat. Abbacchio stood there next to Buccialati, also congratulating the team, but much more haphazardly. He was much more focused on his ever present death stare towards Giorno. In reply, the Joestar silently waved hello to the ex-cop.

"Everyone" Bruno began his declaration to the rest of his gang. "It's been a really fun vacation here in Florida, and I'm sure we all have to miss home just a little, what with the weather being so familiar and all." The squad nodded slowly in agreement. "So, to remind us a little of home, and because it's dinner time, I've decided to take all of you to Pizza Hut, my treat!"

Unanimously, they all cheered. What a wondrous and spectacular occasion it would be, to set course to the hut, and soon devour their delicious pizza. Quickly, they loaded all of their beach supplies back into their rental car. The guys packed themselves into that car and hurried off. Along the road, Giorno asked: "Hey Bruno, where's Trish?" "She was going out to town. She texted me that she'll meet us by the restaurant." Giorno looked slightly concerned. "Something bad better not happen to her while she's away from us." Bruno was chuckling while saying: "Oh no, I sure hope not. That would be cliché." Little did they know something bad would in fact happen, but not what they'd think.

Quickly Passione piled into Bruno's Porsche, packed like pickled sardines prepared for purchase and consumption. It was a very tight fit. Bruno started the car and they backed out of the parking lot and onto the main road. Almost to their destination, Bruno had to stop for gas because the tank was low. "Can you guys _please_ stop turning up the air conditioner to max?" he scolded the children. " _But mom_!" Narancia, Giorno, Fugo, and Mista screamed in unison. "We're so close together, there's no space!" Giorno retorted. "I think I'll pass out from the sheer heat if we don't have it on." Fugo weakly stated. "It's really uncomfortable" Narancia added. "Man this must be what my legs feel like towards my pants" Mista was about to say, but started uncontrollably screaming like he was being murdered. "Ph, the hell's your problem?" Abbacchio worded while waking up from Mista's freakout.

But everybody knew: Mista was the fourth person to speak. He instinctively pulled his revolver out of his pants and fired at nothing, so he would feel better. Granted that they were all in a car together, everybody went deaf for a second. Luckily, no one was hurt, and the bullet flied out the now open window. Unfortunately, it hit a gas tank at the station they wanted to go to.

"Ah well, I'll just fill up after dinner." Bruno says. The gas station explodes in the background. The gang carries on like nothing happened. 47 people injured.

At last, the boys pull in to the nigh empty lot, the gloriously immense sign towering above their car. Their presence is graced with the pure, holy pair of words "PIZZA" and "HUT". Bruno unlocks the car doors and everyone unanimously spills out of his car. They lay in a heap on the warm asphalt of the lot for a moment. Their legs physically unable to move since they lost circulation in that car. Eventually, the gang rose up, and proudly entered the palace of pure, wholesome, Italian-American cuisine. "Hi, how many of you are eating today?" The receptionist inquired. "Seven" Bruno mumbled, "One of us is coming later." The waitress smiled, and led the group to their seats.

It was a large wooden table in the middle of the restaurant. One could see out of all the windows, and look at all of the TV's. The boys sat eagerly at their tables, squabbling over what to order. "I think just plain would be good." Abbacchio stated. "Man fuck plain, if you're not gonna get any toppings at least get extra cheese man." Mista responded. "Ey yo Mista why the hell would you get plain if you could have pepperoni?" Giorno scolded. "How about a supreme? You get so many toppings to choose from, and could just pick off what you like." Bruno said trying to calm everyone down. "Now…" Fugo said condescendingly. "You all obviously have shit taste in pizza and can't even come close to my intellect." He turns toward their waitress (God help her): "We'll take Pineapple!" Everyone else unanimously told Fugo to shut the fuck up, he then curls up and holds his knees in his chair. "Well…" Narancia finally started to give his opinion: "I don't care what toppings we get, as long I get that shit _boneless_."

Everyone stares at him in shock. "The fuck kind of pizza?" Giorno asks. "Well, you know? _Boneless_?" Narancia says. Fugo looks at him dead in the eye: "Pizza doesn't have a damn bone in it, idiot." Narancia stares back in his eyes and says: " Well if it don't got a bone in it, is' _boneless_!" "Lemme get a boneless pizza and a two liter of coke." He says turning to the waitress. "Um, we don't give two litres to people eating in." The waitress murmured, taken aback by this discourse. " SO THE TWO LITRE MACHINE BROKE!?11" Narancia yelled, followed by Fugo's swift stab of a fork.

"Wait, hold up." Giorno said like he was announcing something. "We're a gang, we're rich. We can afford a pizza for each one of us." At this moment the entire gang overflowed with happiness. It was like Christmas morning, but with a lot more grease. The gang then finally said their orders: a pepperoni pizza for Giorno, extra cheese for Mista, plain for Abbacchio, supreme for Bruno, pineapple for Fugo, and no matter how much Narancia denied it, boneless pizzas sadly did not exist (yet) so he settled with meatball.

And so, the waiting game had begun. The gang sat at their table, doing whatever to pass the time. Bruno still had his book, so he read that, quite an interesting rea…oh wait, he accidentally packed his smut. Ah well, it's better than nothing. Abbacchio left his phone in the car, so he was just watching one of the wall-mounted TVs. Fugo was trying to teach Narancia more math but Narancia was having none of it, so he just angrily sat there, slouching. Giorno was turning their utensils into various animals for their amusement. Mista had nothing to really do, since fiddling with a handgun in a restaurant was probably a bad idea, so he was talking to Giorno about fashion or some gay shit. Narancia was playing _Pokémon Ruby_ on his Gameboy Advance.

The time kept on wasting away. They were starving. Dusk had finally set. There was nothing to do but wait, and suffer. How could they keep them waiting this long? They wondered. How could they delay such a paradise? But they still weathered it out, anything for the delicious nirvana that is _Pizza Hut_ Pizza.

Nearly an hour had passed. And just as the wait became unbearable, the pizza gods themselves descended from the heavens, the waitress burst out the kitchen, gracefully placing each man's pizza beside them. The piping hot pies' aromas all danced together in the air. Everyone was salivating, anticipating the sheer enjoyment that they will find out of this wonderful meal. Each grabbed their soothing, warm plates and a serving spatula, and dug-into their meal.

The boys ate like they were actually starved. It was honestly unsettling how much happiness was procured from simply enjoying this _Pizza Hut_ Pizza. The scorching hot mozzarella cheese was the absolute perfect consistency, with enough meltyness to form thick cheesy ropes from each bite (especially for Mista). The tomato sauce provided a wonderful acidity to the dish, and much needed tang. The crust was a perfect golden brown and has a soft, hot inside. For Giorno and Narancia, the meat was properly spiced and brought on an umami flavorstorm, the pineapples' sweetness danced with the ham on Fugo's palate. Bruno's was the best by far, possessing the qualities of all the other pizzas in perfect bites. They were all euphoric. Alas, paradise did not last forever for these Italians.

Fugo paused his voracious eating streak. "Wait a minute." He glared down at his pizza. The wonderful mixture of ham and-pineapple? "Why, wh-why." Fugo's Italian blood began to boil. Streaks of tears rolled down his eyes. His face contorted into shapes not thought physically possible beforehand. "WHY WOULD YOU PUT PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA!" He flips the tray over onto the floor. "You were the one who ordered it." Giorno snarked at him, looking like Fugo killed one of his children. Fugo was delirious with anger and confusion, not at the others, but himself. He didn't even like pizza that much, why did he _ever_ think of ordering pineapple? "What have I done? I'm so confused. This pizza is shit! It's nothing like what they make at home! Why did I even think of ordering it? WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!? WHAT'S HAPPENING!? " Fugo made such a ruckus that even people in neighboring buildings could hear his mental breakdown. "Well, I, Giorno Giovanna, personally enjoy the taste of _Pizza Hut_ pizza." Giorno interjected. "Shh, Fugo, calm down." Narancia said, in a vain attempt to calm him down. He lay his arm across his friend's torso to calm him down. Fugo kept uncontrollably screaming, not even calming a little bit.

The others were taken aback by the scene unfolding in front of them. However, they learned to tune it out. Fugo finally started calming down, when suddenly Narancia started to do something very suspicious. His arms still lay on his body, but his hand started going lower, and lower. Fugo was honestly paralyzed until Narancia went straight down his pants and grabbed his dick.

"wh-What the fuck are you doing?" Fugo blurted out. Narancia looked at him softly. "It-it looked like you needed it." Fugo had no idea what's going on, but didn't resist for some reason. Narancia got off his chair and on his knees. He undid the button of Fugo's pants and pulled out his semi-erect pene. Rhythmically jerking it up and down, he pressed his lips against the purple head. Fugo like most teenagers like him, didn't have a girlfriend and because of his lifestyle much way to feel release, so deep down, despite his confused state of mind, he went with it.

The others were horrified at this discourse and stopped eating. However, their moment of stupor was suddenly broken when Giorno decided to have some fun for himself and reach down Mista's pants, delicately moving his gun out of the way. "Um, are you sticking _your_ _hand_ down _my pants_?" Mista said. "Shh, it's called teamwork." Giorno whispered in his ear. And with that, they were both naked.

"Guys, we're in public." Bruno scolded his children, trying to remain calm while Abbacchio ran to the bathroom to vomit. "Ah, they don't care, they're all in the kitchen." Mista dismissed, Giorno fondling his junk with more applied force. "Besides, Bruno." Giorno looked at him with a warm smile: "We've been travelling for so long, and it's our vacation together, so I think it's right for us to have some fun." He said with obvious sexual undertones (or overtones). Bruno thought his statement over, usually he'd be rational, but he was starved of company, so he shrugged. He might as well have fun too, so he burst into the men's bathroom, unzipped the stall, and gave Abbacchio a big smooch. He was still vomiting, but Bruno didn't mind the taste. He embraced his man in the stall and let their honeymoon begin.

The table was a mess. Fugo sat on one end, bringing Narancia near to him, forcing his hot Italian down his throat with a lot of pleasure. Narancia took it, as he was used to. On the other end, Mista was nailing Giorno on top of their piping hot pizza. You'd expect Giorno to be in pain, but Mista was the one screaming in agony, as Giorno filled his asshole with cactus needles. Mista was used to this tho, Giorno was into this type of BDSM anyway. Fugo continued violently throatfucking Narancia until release. His gleaming snowy white strands of seed laced his partner's throat. However, Fugo was not satisfied, he came prematurely. He needed something to get him back to full power. Then, he found something that gave him an idea: The piping hot _Pizza Hut_ pizza.

"Well, here goes nothing." Fugo murmured. He folded a slice of meat ball pizza in half and slid it into his anus. It burned so badly, but the pleasure he received outweighed it so much. He kept going and going until it was fully inserted into his anal cavity. But it wasn't enough, he wanted more. He kept going back to slices and stuffing them up there. His cock began to get hard once again. Finally, it was back at full mast when he had the equivalent of an entire pizza in his intestines. Narancia looked at his lover with passion. "Alright man, well it's my turn now." He then unsheathed his trap cock and started vigorously pounding Fugo's pizza filled poopy hole. Narancia's tip burned on contact with the pizza, the tomato sauce and pineapple juice stinging his urethra. His pounding started to smoosh the pizza, and eventually it was all mashed into Fugo's bowels. It burned both of them but it felt too good to stop, so Narancia kept on going at it. Suddenly, Narancia turned his head to something out of the corner of his eye.

He was horrified! Giorno was giving a blow job to Mista! "Giorno!" he cried. "Are you sucking him off!?" tears filled his eyes, he couldn't stand to see this scene. "Yeah, he is." Mista responded boldly. "Why are you so concerned?" "Well. . .," Narancia looked to the floor. "That's gay!" He said with huge concern. Mista was completely baffled by Narancia's logic. "What? But you're fucking Fugo's ass!" Narancia became slightly more agitated. "Well yeah, but I'm not making eye contact. It's not gay if you don't make eye contact right?"

Mista got angry, and was about to scold the boy for being an idiot (and slightly homophobic) but all that came out of his mouth was a long, shrieking scream of pleasure and agony. Giorno, the madman, had begun to shove pizza up Mista's smelly dick hole. He soon had an entire slice in there, and reached for another. Mista was completely caught off guard, but at the same time he also felt good, and he loved his boy, so he let it happen. However he would have had enough.

Giorno had shoved three whole slices of piping hot _Pizza Hut_ pizza into both Mista's urethra and his own, and reached for a fourth. "No, NO nonoNOnonOnoNonO!" were Mista's exact words. This barbaric act of sin had gone too far. Mista whipped out his gun and placed it on Giorno's head, but Giorno had turned it into a banana quicker than he could have realized. Sex Pistols was rendered useless. "Nani!?" Mista yelled out. "Omae wa mou shindeiru" Giorno quietly said. And in an instant later, he flipped Mista over, turned his own pizza stuffed dick into a tentacle (The kind with hooks on them) and went to town with Mista's digestive tract.

The table was a mess. Every other customer that may have been in the building had fled already. The staff members of this restaurant are cowering in the kitchen, terrified of the noises outside. They had already called the police, but they were taking forever. Bruno found Abbacchio in the bathroom, still retching from what he had took sight of. Bruno reached his hand over to his man to calm him down. "It's ok Abbacchio, everything will be fine, and they just need to let out some tension from the trip." Abbacchio snapped back: "Oh yeah? In a public restaurant? Well, you will find that I'll have no part in it. Ever since the last time this happened when I was on the force, I swore I would never participate again." "That's fine." Bruno understandingly said. "But don't let this ruin our honeymoon." Abbacchio looked at the man with his icy blue eyes and smiled softly. Bruno then unzipped his dick.

Giorno was not yet satisfied. He turned surrounding slices of _Pizza Hut_ pizza into tentacles to bind Mista in various positions. His own tentacle was coming out of Mista's mouth, this simply does not do for the man. Mista himself was reeling back in sheer pleasure, he wanted more, and would have told Giorno if he didn't have a tentacle shoved in his throat. Giorno then had an idea: he diversified his transformations. A myriad of things like tentacles, eels, snakes, vines, and all manner of slithery organisms were headed straight for every orifice of Mista's body. Ears, nostrils, belly buttons, Giorno did not let up at all: this is hentai, and it is art.

Mista began to convulse, this was getting to be a bit too much. He knew Giorno was one depraved motherfucker, but this was enough. He couldn't verbalize to tell him to stop, so he had Sex Pistols do it for him. Giorno pretended to ignore it for a few minutes, but then let up when he got over his horniness and realized what he was doing. DIO's nonexistent body was rolling in his nonexistent grave. So was Jonathan's. That day, every Joestar felt a deep sense of shame and embarrassment in their blood.

While the release made Mista erupt cum faster than Old Faithful, Narancia was still going at it on Fugo's abrasive pooper. He had stopped shoving _Pizza Hut_ pizza into his bowels because it had gone cold, and they couldn't exactly get more. However, he had a great idea. He had Aerosmith run its propellers inside Fugo's asshole. It teared up his bowels but he loved the feeling. Narancia then couldn't hold on any longer and released. Aerosmith was then churning a mixture of cum, blood, feces, and cold, mushy _Pizza Hut_ pizza.

The smelly gang engaged in this incomprehensibly horrendous discourse for a few hours more. It got so bad; the floors of the establishment would remain permanently sticky afterwards. It was not a pleasant surprise when their last member Trish Una had shown up for dinner. The freshman had gotten done shopping at American stores. It was quite an experience, but not necessarily bad. She had been looking forward to joining Bruno and co. for their amazing dinner experience at _Pizza Hut_. She walked up to the doors and opened them, with no one to greet them.

Trish had felt many emotions in her life, but never such intense feelings of anger and disgust simultaneously. She projectile vomited on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably at what the gang had become. They didn't even notice her. This image was so horrible, it made her almost want her dad back. Yeah he was pretty fucked up, but at least he had the decency to not do this in a P _izza Hut_.

She bolted out the door but was stopped by the giant man blocking her path, looking at the gang as well. She looked up at the giant's eyes, and stepped behind him. He handed her the turtle, and stepped forward. "Yare yare daze." He muttered to himself. "So this is what I get when I go to meet my great uncle? Jesus fucking Christ, Not even DIO did this shit." Jotaro Kujo was visibly disgusted. He stepped onto the floor, menacing kanji surrounding his body, his eyes blacked out like they were in Part 3 75% of the time. The gang had stopped fucking when he came into the room. All of them were a mixture of aroused and terrified, their dicks wave in the air at full mast. _Pizza Hut_ pizza was pouring out of their bodies.

"Why." He said with authority, looking at Giorno in particular, who stared at him back. "I felt the presence of someone I know by blood a while ago. That was when I realized someone else had this birthmark." He flashes his star shaped birthmark on his perfectly thick neck and shoulders. "I just wanted to talk to them, and when I met this girl, he gestures at Trish, looking equally menacing, I figured out who I was dealing with." The gang looked terrified. It was as if their dad was coming to punish them for scratching his car. "Why?" Giorno rose up, naked and still with his tiny dick erect. "Because we felt like it, that's why, we're able to. I, Giorno Giovanna, have a dream. And that right now, is to finally have some fun on our vacation. Try and stop me."

Jotaro realized that the group was too overcome by their horniness and hormones to understand reason. He then had to resort to the only alternative option. With his signature scowl, he walked to Narancia.

If looks could kill, Jotaro's glare knew Hokuto no ken. Narancia crawled back in terror and ejaculated in self-defense. But before the cum could reach Jotaro's uniform, he disappeared. Narancia was terrified, but his terror grew exponentially when Jotaro tapped him on the shoulder. He quickly summoned Aerosmith to attack, but Jotaro was too quick. He brought out Star Platinum, and bitch-slapped the boy into a wall, making a crater.

Fugo was furious; the erect man stood up and faced their assailant. "How dare you hit my love and interrupt our time together. You bastard, have my stand, it can kill you in less than a minute!" "But can it kill me in five seconds?" Jotaro rebuked. "Star Platinum: Za Warudo!" And with that, time has stopped. One second has passed. Jotaro walks harmlessly beside Purple Haze and Fugo. Two seconds have passed. He takes a bite of some leftover pizza. Three seconds have passed. He hates pineapple pizza. Four seconds have passed. He bends Fugo's legs from under him. "Time flows again." He says. Purple Haze strikes at nothing; Jotaro donkey punches Fugo in the back of the head, knocking him unconscious, and he falls face first onto the floor.

Mista was out of commission, so there was no real fight, but Jotaro was still very disgusted, and he believed in equality, so he kicked him in the balls four times. Then he turned to the naked Giorno. Giorno was really tired and scared. "You fucking bastard! How could you do this to us!?" Jotaro grunted. "Listen, Great Uncle, this seems like it's the only way to get you to listen to reason. Good grief. To think I was gonna bring my daughter over to say hi."

"No!" Giorno protested. "I won't listen to you! I won't stop. Your efforts are _useless_!" and with that, he picked up a knife and threw it at the man. Jotaro caught the knife right in front of his face. His PTSD had fully begun acting up. Now not even he was rational. Jotaro stopped time for the last time and commenced the beat down.

The next thing Giorno knew he was covered in Pizza Hut pizza and blood. Jotaro was still beating the ever loving shit out of the man. "ORAORAORAORAORAORA" Was all that was said for the next few minutes. Trish was admittedly impressed that someone could have so much blood in their body. Giorno, now beyond unconscious, was then thrown through the wall leading to the bathroom.

"Yare yare." Jotaro sighed, "I let my temper get to me again." He was about to say some one liner but looked up in disgust at the scene before him.

Body parts scattered the floor, walls, ceiling, and stalls, all with unzipped zippers. Strangely, they were all alive. At the center of it all, was a half assembled man shoving the unzipped head of another man into his ass while fucking a prolapsed unzipped rectum. Such a scene was so bizarre, Jotaro got a nosebleed. Bruno looked dead into Jotaro's traumatized eyes and quickly zipped his and Abbacchio's bodies back together. "Can I help you?" Bruno said to Jotaro. "Yes, I met this girl, who is with you, and figured out that one member of this party was a relative of mine, so I wanted to visit him." Jotaro sighed heavily. "The thing is, I came in to see this debauchery going on in the restaurant and had to stop it. Don't worry, I didn't injure anyone, they just wouldn't listen to reason any other way." Bruno nodded. "Alright, I understand. I might have done the same. How dare they disgrace the beauty of Pizza Hut, I'll be sure to give them a piece of my mind." The two men chuckled, and Jotaro held up a turtle. "I know you've met him before, but this is my friend Jean Pierre Polnareff. I suggest you get everybody in his room to hide from the police, they'll be here any minute." Bruno smiled. "Good idea. Say, how about you come with us? We could use your help, since only Abbacchio, Trish, and I are awake right now."

And so Jotaro and the other conscious gang members put all the rest inside Polnareff. They then drove away in Bruno's car, but had to ditch it eventually since it would be easily spotted. Trish was looking gloomy, and very traumatized at what just happened. "Mr. Buccelati." She asked. "Yes Trish?" Bruno responded. "I'm sorry, but this is a precaution for the future, a least until we get back."

And then she summoned Spice Girls, who quickly made all of the gang's members soft, giving them irreversible erectile dysfunction until they were done vacation. Trish did not ever want this shit to happen again, and Bruno and Abbachio understood. Later on, you could slightly hear the rest of the gang whining inside the turtle Polnareff about how they can't get it up.

Bruno gave the naughty children a huge grounding. They had to stay inside Polnareff for the rest of the night. Bruno also had a lot of fun that night with Abbachio, Trish, and their new friend Jotaro. They had a nice quiet night in the city together, and got to know each other well.


End file.
